My Left Foot OR Leisa's Theory of Human Persona: DAP and Anti-DAP

This is a picture of my left foot.

There are moments in your life when you ask yourself, "Should I....?" (fill in the blank), that had you answered it intelligently, your day would have turned out differently. I'm sure that people who have hurled themselves down slopes, over waterfalls or otherwise in the direction of danger had an instant recall of that personal Q &A session and wished they had come up with a different answer.

I had a conversation like that yesterday. Oh, it did not involve my making a decision about hurling myself toward danger, but rather it was something mundane: "Should I change my shoes?" [As I write this, I realize that such a mundane question points to a mundane life--but you already know that about me!)

Clothing and shoes should fit the task at hand. I'm quite aware of that. I have trail running shoes and road running shoes (though I don't run anymore). I possess a number of clothing items that are performance and comfort oriented for any type of weather. So had my answer to that question been met with "Yes, I'll get any !@#$$!$@ shoe that attaches to my foot rather than a slip on" yesterday's outcome would have been different.

Here's the shoe that I wore. I love this shoe. However, it is clear that it is not a shoe that one cannot slip in or out of with ease--even unintentionally.

I mentioned earlier that on this run we we had several un-neutered males. This was a terrific group of dogs--particularly as we had no females in heat (as we did two weeks ago!). In helping one lovely lad out of the arriving vehicle, his exuberance to move around coupled with my clumsy choice of shoes landed him under my feet. He let out a polite yelp, and in my trying to re-position, I literally fell out of my shoe and crashed to the pavement. I could not get up. My charge was very obedient. He didn't pull or anything.

My fellow rescue colleagues had their hands full. We're so busy at these hand offs; no one saw what had happened. I had one of my earlier charges tethered to a light pole beside my car. I skooched over on my butt and I sat by him. I called out that I had hurt myself, and I could not walk Prince. But I had a free hand, and could hold a walked dog. I handed off Prince (whose foot I had stepped on, but he quickly forgave me) and was handed Lenny. So Lenny and the other dog (he wasn't on the manifest, so I do not know his name), and I sat down while the other dogs were serviced. The other dog came close--it's uncanny how they can sense that you are in pain. Lenny was in between my legs. They were both a comfort to me. I could see the top part of my foot bruising and swelling. I could not put any weight on it.

I was fully prepared to drive these dogs to Fredericksburg, but fate does smile kindly on folks who make Darwinian-taunting decisions. The three other drivers had room for all of the dogs. I was only about 6 miles from my parents' home, so I immediately drove there. After 1 mile, it was apparent to me, that I would have never made it to Fredericksburg. The pain was excruciating.

Long story short...my parents' (Dad/stepmom) had all of the invalid accouterments (1): compression bandages, crutches, boot, ice pack. I stayed there to ice the injury, elevate and compress. They also fed me and pampered me in every way. I decided (over the course of 3 hours, that this was more than a sprain, and that I should go to Patient First). They offered to take me, but I figured I could manage. And I could. There were lots of bleary-eyed flu-ey looking people. I tried not to breathe in as they walked by!

Apparently my outside tendon detached from my foot taking some bone with it. They put a fiberglass splint on it, gave me a Vicodin prescription (which I said I probably would not need, he assured me that I would. He was right), and the name of an orthopedist to see on Monday for a full cast.

Leisa's Theory on the dual nature of human persona. Today is my first public comment on this theory. Everyone has these conversations, so it is important to understand why. I believe (and you are welcome to prove my theory wrong), that we have two distinctive personas. Persona 1 is the Dumb Ass Persona (DAP). It is the persona that wants to disprove all of Darwin's theories about survival. Johnny Knoxville (of the MTV Jack Ass series) is the incarnation of that persona.

Persona 2 is your DAP-Neutralizing persona. You can call it Anti-DAP if you like. Anti-DAP is quite polite and tries to gently suggest to your DAP that there really is a better alternative than the one that prompts the question. Driving while drunk, writing e-mails while mad, and handling snakes as a part of a religious ritual are just a few examples of situations that incite your Anti-DAP to have a conversation with DAP.

The lesson, then, my friends, is to heed the gentle questions of your Anti-DAP and answer wisely.

(1) I have a great love of words largely because I was a nerdy child and read more than a normal child. I learned only now, when I was prompted that accoutrements was mis-spelled, that there is an alternative spelling "accouterments." Another useless fact that I take pride in bringing you!