A Deeply Personal Story but an Investment Story

This post is very pertinent to investing, but it is also deeply personal. For whatever reason, I was moved to post this story. I may regret it. But I'll resolve not to delete it because I think it is important. I would also like you to share it with someone that you think might benefit. And let me be clear, this post is not meant to be dramatic. I'm not trying to draw attention to myself. I'm trying to draw your attention to you. It is meant to be honest and coldly objective. If you ever find yourself in this position, I hope that you remember reading this post. It's tragically true, and one of the most deeply moving experiences of my life.

Nearly 17 years ago my brother committed suicide. He was 32. In February of 1990, my father, sister and I went out to Colorado Springs (my mother had died of lung cancer the previous November) to await the why's and wherefore's of my brother's death. It's a horrible space to find one's self in. He had a wife and two young daughters: 2 years old and 5 months. It was heartbreaking to see my 2 year old niece cry Daddy, Daddy, Daddy to every headlight that beamed down the road. She didn't understand that her Daddy would not be coming home.

He had put all of his things in order--to include his income tax preparation. I will not go into all of the underlying reasons why I thought my brother (estranged) chose suicide, but the catalyst was that he lost everything in the stock market. Everything. There was $300 in his bank account. They were arrears in their rent. His wife had no idea. He had sold his home in CA with a significant gain. Moved to CO and was renting a beautiful, expensive home. The sizable gain on home? Evaporated. Nada. Zippo. He had the one thing that was of financial value: a sizable insurance policy (he sold insurance).

He did the penultimate financial fuck up--he lost EVERYTHING in the stock market. The real pathos of the story is not that he lost his money, but that he thought that the insurance policy was more valuable to his family than his life. Amaranth and Mother Rock are titillating stories. But, there are real people behind those stories. Why am I posting this? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU TO EVER CONFUSE THE VALUE OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WITH THE VALUE OF YOUR LIFE.

I have little to offer people who stop by to read this modest blog. But I assure you that today's message is the most powerful and incisive that I could ever offer--one that you will NOT get from any paid subscription. Sure, investing is a provocative subject: it's sexy, it's intellectual and it's instant, provocative conversation. But in the end, it is your financial health. But I want to tell you, bluntly, that if you fuck up, it is not your life. It is never your life. You start over. You dial back to being in your 20's again--poor but idealistic. However, never, ever is it your life. (Of course the underlying message is to NOT to screw up (no more than 2 f-words in a post!).

I don't know what 2007 will bring. I don't know a damn thing but this: You are not your bank account. You are not your annual return. You are not your annual salary. You are a spouse, a mother, a father, a friend, a son or a daughter, but you are never a dollar.

So whatever decisions that you chose to make about your life--whether it's a stock purchase, business venture, financial investment, love interest or employment decision--you do so with conviction that should it blow up in your face, you can face the next day with the stain of embarrassment on your cheeks or a "how could I be so stupid" slap to the forehead, but you continue to be a part of the lives of the people who know and love you. And all of these things I feel well qualified to tell you.